Why would we want to change the world’s negative view on sexuality?

I am sitting here trying to promote my facebook group to get 1 million people to say they self-pleasure (masturbate) and feel good about it. But then I got to thinking, why? Why would we want to change the way the world views sexuality, what is the point? The point for Ms. QuiraA is so people know that sex is meant for pleasure. Before and beyond child-bearing age we are sexual beings, children masturbate before even knowing what their genitals are called, and do people stop getting it on after 50? Of course not, and that's well above child bearing age. So as proof in itself sex is more than about procreation, it's about pleasure too.

In my opinion masturbation should be a person's first sexual experience, and should be positive. I used to think I was the only person who thought this way until I attended an AASECT (American Association for Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists) conference and met a wonderful woman named Betty Dodson who is a feminist that promotes sexual freedom, which heavily includes masturbation. Masturbation is such a big deal because the relationship with ourselves is such a big deal, if we can love ourselves enough to let go and submit to our own desires than we can begin to let go and submit to all that we have to offer ourselves.

Changing the world's view on self-pleasure would mean people would have to begin owning their own orgasms, as Betty would say. Women would be responsible for saying what feels good to them and men wouldn't think they have to be a magician to make a woman orgasm. Parents could even begin to teach their children the real deal about sex, the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. Did you know the flowers and trees signify pleasure? 'Sex talks' with kids seem to leave that part out a lot, but I say let's bring it in!

I want young girls to know their
orgasms are a part of their sexual experience with another person too. I also want them to know that deep and emotional feelings come from sexual release, with self pleasure they will be able to experience those emotions with themselves
first. When people self-pleasure they can allow themselves to let go to themselves, their Spirit, God or Universe, if they can do it and feel good about it.

This idea starts with grown-ups though, and not all grown-ups either. I am calling out to the ones who self-pleasure and feel good about it, tell someone who you think could benefit from knowing. Then tell young people who are sexually active, then tell your own children, when they're ready, the point is tell them. Tell them what to expect from self-pleasure, tell them what they can achieve on their own tell them to get to know their own bodies before (or while) sharing it with others. Talking about sex isn't forbidden anymore, it's ok, it's natural, it's a part of our whole lives.

Those of you who don't self-pleasure and feel good about it, but want to, go for it.

Here's a tip:

Make a date with yourself, even if for only 45 minutes. Take some time to sit with yourself (you can even do this in the mirror). Say something funny, something to make you smile or even something soothing to make you relax, then compliment yourself (this may seem awkward at first but go ahead try it, you'll be all alone, no one will even know you are doing it). Scan your body from head to toe, focusing your attention on each body part. Once you have finished slowly begin to touch yourself, try your nipples, your thighs, your arms, your genitals. All parts of your body. Do this as long as it feels good. When you finish, take a moment to notice how you feel, then compliment yourself again. Enjoy!

Whenever you're ready…

~Ms. QuiraA~

www.msquiraasgoodies.com

Ms. QuiraA’s Top 6 Reasons Why You Should Masturbate

There are so many myths about masturbating. I'm sure you have heard most of them. You get hairy palms, you're nasty, if you're 'too young' then it will cause you to want to have sex. It's unclean (a sin), it's a form of self mutilation (I was surprised by this one!), it means you don't love your partner. So many reasons why people shouldn't self pleasure themselves. And, if these myths are deemed justifiable until a person is old enough to understand what masturbation is, then that myth there is even bogus!

See, humans self pleasure in so many ways, we eat good foods, we exercise, spend time with friends, meditate, groom ourselves, look in the mirror, massage sore body parts, all the way to the actual act of self pleasuring our genitals. How can such a private and intimate moment spent with yourself be deemed a horrible wrong act? I don't know the answer to that, but what I do know is, there are way more reasons to masturbate than there are not to. Legitimate reasons I mean.

1. First and most important in my book, why not, it's your own body, no one knows if you're doing it (if you do it in private) and it damn sure feels good to make yourself feel good. I know there have been many a time where I have rubbed my temples and it felt sooo good. So, masturbation, why not?

2. It feels good. Who can honestly say they are so unaware of their own bodies that they don't know if masturbation feels good or not. Well if you can it, it's probably because your scared to really open up to yourself. (Silly though isn't it, especially since you are with you all day long and still not comfortable enough to say 'hello, down there')

3. If you're not using it to make babies what are you doing with it? Our sexual organs are meant for 2 things, reproduction and pleasure. If you're not going use them to make babies, please leave them open to pleasure. Now people, don't go getting it confused. I am not saying go out and just masturbate, or have sex, with everyone for pleasure (unless that's what you like) what I am saying is, if your going to try it, like it. Masturbating is a solo act, there is no wrong way to touch the "Goodies". It's yours, you should know it best.

Food for thought: If you choose not to build an intimate relationship with yourself, how do expect to build an intimate relationship with someone else?

4. So reason number four is pretty obvious to anyone who has had an orgasm. However, if you haven't experienced an "O" number four may peak your interest. Relieves Tension and relaxes you. Wow! Seriously? Yep. Sure does. Orgasms are wonderful, however if the "O" isn't obtained the juices stimulated while attempt the "O" send receptors to your brain that say, "hey, my body feels good, wheew!". You can actually become more relaxed and peaceful from masturbating.

5.
Only sexual option available that's 100% effective against STD's and pregnancy. Married couples, new couples and young couples even, can use co-masturbation (partners masturbating together) which is just as safe as private masturbation! Wow who would want to masturbate in front of their partner instead of having sex? Well, how about this, masturbation (alone or with someone) is the key ingredient to finding out what you like, you can get the sex you want, whenever you "go all the way", which leads us right into reason 6.

6.
Helps you find out what you like, don't like and love! Ever heard the saying 'a closed mouth don't get fed'. Well an untouched sex organ is starving! Like reason number two says, if you're not making babies what on earth are you doing with it? Besides, when you do want to practice 'baby-making', it should feel good. Do you know how to activate it? If someone pushes your buttons (makes you hot!), can you say, "ooooh baby keep it right there"? Do you know where your hot spots are? If not, what are you doing!? Why are you letting someone push buttons on you that you haven't even pushed! Call the Police on you!™

Ms. QuiraA is a firm believer in pleasure positive sexual experiences! Masturbation is a way to obtain your positive sexual experiences. Otherwise, you may keep getting a hit and miss when you meet someone who tells you, 'hey, baby, I can blow your mind". Masturbation can give you the confidence to reply with, "I can blow my own mind. We must have something in common!"

6 reasons are by far not the only reasons to masturbate. They are just a few.

Whenever you're ready…

~Ms. QuiraA~

www.msquiraasgoodies.com

What My Thanksgiving was about…

It's Thanksgiving and usually I am dreading the holidays! My family is fun but no matter what, they still get on my nerves! Lol. But this year was a little different, I decided I was going to choose how I felt today. I decided, I'm going to make today fun, I'm going to put all my lovin' in these greens I'm cooking, I'm going to make my corn bread the way I want it and i will have fun when I get there.

And I did!

I decided that when somebody said something to piss me off, I wasn't going to get so intense, i will just say what I think back and if people want to talk about it, cool. Well I did that, and it worked! Of course I ended up talking about my favorite subject and that oh so sacred word, Masturbation! Right after dinner, in my mother's dining room, with my grandmother, mother, and my aunt, along with my step-father and his sister.

Now no doubt, the tension in the room was thick, my grandmother was so nervous she didn't know what to do! My mom said for me to please watch my mouth because she's a foster mother and these weren't her children. Lol. But I didn't care, we were talking. And that's ALWAYS my point. I believe, if we can slowly begin to tell the truth about sexuality with each other then we'll maybe we can be honest with our children (or they could at least over hear), so they can make healthier choices about their sexuality.

So my aunt said a very wise thing tonight! She said, "People are beginning to talk about it, people are opening up. Now is the time. It's ok to talk about it because it's a natural part of life." Sex and intimacy, love, relationships with others and most importantly, the relationship with our self, should be talked about. We teach our younger generation how to respond to everyday life, how to live in the real world, let's teach them how to love themselves, genuinely, with a mind, body and soul connection. In my dream world, we, adults, are teaching this by living it. We don't deny our sexual selves, yet we embrace our sensuality, by smelling the roses, and embrace our sexuality by loving our pleasurable selves.

Loving ourselves is essential to self-worth and masturbating is self care as is brushing our teeth. So your dentist says brush daily and Ms. QuiraA says masturbate healthily. What's that mean? It means to masturbate as often as you like and always feel good about it.

So when asked what am I thankful for? I'd have to say I'm thankful for ME, being able to love myself makes me be a better mother, partner, daughter and sister, so I can be thankful for my family, especially, all the women in it.

Whenever you're ready...

~Ms. QuiraA~

Happiness is a Choice?

Yes…

All the reading I do I notice how people put their own selves into misery, wallow in it for a while and then emerge with great confidence and readiness to take over the world.


Now there's nothing wrong with this approach because that's just how we as people seem to operate. But I want to introduce you to something new, a new way to function. Let me explain.


I'm a new blogger, so I'm surfing the net reading blogs, reading responses and I come across a page where someone is thanking the blogging community for their success in being a blogger of note. She begins to talk about how she shared a really personal experience with the 'community' after lying to so many friends and family and now she knows for sure her purpose in life is to be a writer.


Well of course this sounds interesting, so I decided to read the winning post.


I continue on and the blogger tells a story about a wonderful man she met via the internet and they fell in love. She spoke with him and visited off and on for 2 years. Eventually they decide they like (love) each other enough for her to move to his town. They commence to search for an apartment for her and make plans for their new life together. Well to make a long story short, she ends up finding out he is already living with a woman and has no intentions on pursuing a real relationship with her.


She's heartbroken, betrayed, and decides she wants nothing to do with 'Mr. wonderful' and doesn't even unpack the suitcase she used coming back from the last trip with him. She goes a whole year without unpacking this suitcase until she moves into a new apartment and decides it's time.

Again, long story short when she opens the suitcase she finds all these things that used to make her feel pretty and empowered. She finds her favorite bathing suit, earrings, her journal and her clothes even smelled of her favorite perfume, which she hasn't worn in a year.


She comes to the realization that she had packed up and hidden things that made her feel good, because 'Mr. Wonderful' lied to her. She punished herself for what he had done, and for an entire year.

The moral of her story was once she cleaned the suitcase she ends up coming across an abused woman in need of a suitcase to start her new life, hopefully a happy one.


She finally gained the courage to write about her 'truth' and becomes a blogger of note, for such an inspirational story. Beautiful, now I have a thought for everyone reading:

Did she not know all the things that made her feel good, and

feel like a desirable woman was in that suitcase?

She neglected herself for an entire year because someone lied to her, then emerged with an abundance of esteem once she was recognized for writing about how unwonderful 'Mr. Wonderful' truly is.


Now she can be a writer.


She was already a writer! She had been writing for a long time and she even kept her journal in that suitcase. Instead of wearing her favorite clothes, favorite jewelry and writing in her journal, she took a time out from her Self. For a year, that's a long time to ignore your Self, and why do you have to. You don't.


You are all you have. You take you with you all day, and if you're a believer,

God is in You. How do you ignore You?


A lot of us do. This wonderful woman is not wrong, I am not slamming her, she just so happens to be like most people and instead of hugging herself and telling herself this man's actions had nothing to do with who she is, she chastised herself, took away the things she loved, things that empowered her with or without 'Mr. Wonderful'.


I hear you say, but she emerged! She came out on top, and look she is happy now that she's writing! She's alive!

Yes, and she chose her experience to come out this way. What I mean here is this, if she had unpacked that bag sooner, maybe she would have picked herself up by the boot straps sooner. Maybe she could have avoided a year of suffering, looked at her favorite things for comfort and still given the suitcase to an abused woman in need. She could still have ended up with a great story.


We can make choices to be happy sooner. Happiness is a choice that is made in the moment, it is neither conditional nor situational. Instead we choose to suffer, seems like as a punishment, but what an unnecessary one.


Whenever You're Ready…
www.msquiraasgoodies.com

Ms. QuiraA

Do You Masturbate? (And feel good about it.)

I am sitting at my computer thinking about how important I believe it is for people to know its okay to masturbate, children, teenagers, adults and even the elderly. I have been studying the field of human sexuality and have noticed how over time, people have grown numb to their sexual selves. We aren’t encouraged as a society to masturbate, or even self-pleasure for that matter. We aren’t even encouraged to enhance and study our sexuality (cause that’s for freaks and perverts).

When I ask people, “do you masturbate?”, first they are totally shocked I asked “a question like that”, and second, they are mortified when I actually want an answer! LOL, I love it!

Our society has played a major role in how we view our sexuality as whole, women are supposed to wait until they are married to have sex or find ‘the right one’, even though parents nowadays know that’s not likely, we still hope and pray in the back of our minds that our children will never have sex, or again…at least wait until their married. Well that’s ridiculously unrealistic and sets our kids up to fail. How many people actually wait until marriage, or the ‘right one’ for that matter. Teens are tingly (horny) people, their hormones are raging and their life experiences new and challenging. They need outlets, and ones they can feel good about, without the shame and guilt.

How many parents are actually masturbating when they are stressed, or horny, or because they have no active sex partner? Even married people are having less sex, and guess what, most married men are masturbating, and married women are beginning to. But with an enormous amount of shame behind such a forbidden act, we are not teaching our children how to make healthy sexual decisions.

Instead we tellyoung boys they are not real men if they don’t have sex with the ‘real thing’ (btw, what the heck is the real thing?), and we tell young girls that if they touch their vaginas they are nasty. This form of sex education is NOT helping our young people. They end up becoming 30 year-old women who have pleasure less sex with partners, can’t tell a partner what makes them tingle (horny), and saddest of all still faking orgasms.

This is absolutely unnecessary! If a woman feels compelled to fake an orgasm that means she feels like she should be having one too. And you know what she should be! Biologically, sex is for pleasure and procreation. There are a lot of other good uses too, but those are the basics.

Ladies, if we’re not having sex to make babies, let’s start having sex to make pleasure.

And parents, how about we start slow, by calling body parts actual names. Vulva or vagina not “cookie”, and penis not “peepee”. We don’t call our legs “walkies” and our arms “holdies”, let’s give our children the chance to know their body parts so they can learn to love them. And parents who aren’t masturbating (or feeling so bad about it that it defeats the purpose) try something new. Explore your body. Appreciate the pleasure it provides and be grateful for how wonderful you are for loving yourself. Believe me, your kids will notice the jump in your step and the life in your eyes once you have released pleasurable energy throughout your body.

Now, Ms. QuiraA knows everyone is not ready to step outside of their box and own their sexual rights, which is perfectly OK. Hopefully there will a life experience or maybe even an epiphany that leads you on that path for enhanced pleasurable experiences, with yourself, or with others. No worries, in due time.

Whenever you’re ready…

Ms. QuiraA
www.msquiraasgoodies.com